


Winning The War

by MusicLover6661



Series: War Never Changes [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nazi Germany, Bearded Steve Rogers, Blood, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Nazis, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Rogue Captain America, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicLover6661/pseuds/MusicLover6661





	Winning The War

The air was cold, colder than we had felt in a while. They were expecting a storm to hit us within the next couple weeks. Judging from the clouds, the storm was already upon us. Bucky walked silently at my side, the train waited for us about half a mile away. I wasn't entirely sure how confident I was anymore. Sure I had been able to talk a big game and make myself seem heroic, but that was all on the outside. I was still that young kid from Brooklyn, trying his damnedest to show everyone that he wasn't as weak as they thought. And sure things had gone well for a little while, but with the war, and physically being here, well it was daunting.

We were behind enemy lines at the moment, and there was no shadow of a doubt in my mind that there were Germans hiding in every corner. Half of our men had been taken out in the night, and we were determined to make sure that never happened again.

“You think we'll be able to find them?” I stepped onto the train, the wind whipping around us almost violently.  
“I'm sure of it, just because they're trying to stay stealthy doesn't mean shit” Bucky hauled himself onto the train, sighing as he plopped down onto the floor.

The train lurched forward, and soon we were off. The only sound outside was the wind, and the occasional plane. Other than that it was quiet. I almost dozed off a few times, getting as comfortable as I could in the small space. Bucky was humming softly to himself, trying to remember times before the war, before all of the madness.

It's the sound of a missile that wakes me with a start, half of the train rocking almost violently as Bucky and I jump to our feet. There's no one to be seen outside, the sounds of men screaming pierce the air. The second missile hits our car, the door flying off of the hinges as it falls down into the icy water below. Bucky's screaming at me, but the ringing in my ears won't go away. He's blown from the car next, his scream echoing through my head.

I looked around the car, half the men were already dead, and the other half wouldn't make it to the destination. I shook my head, I needed to save Bucky.

The fall seemed slower, as if time wasn't able to catch up with me. My body hit the water as if I weighed a thousand pounds. My ribs were broken, and at least one arm, and one leg each. My head surfaced, but I could barely keep afloat. My vision was slowly becoming dark, the ice cold water seeping into my bones. Need to find Bucky before it's too late. Too late.

October 2017

There's a warmth that I can't begin to describe. It feels like it's trying to warm me from the inside out, but why? I remember the water being so cold, were they able to find Bucky? Get him to safety? Or was he doomed like everyone else? My arms felt looser, hadn't I been wearing my suit when I jumped into the water to get him? Maybe that was all a dream, part of my subconscious trying to tell me that this was all a sick dream.

“About time you woke up, we were beginning to think we'd lost you for good” The voice was soft, or maybe my ears were playing tricks on me.  
“What time is it?” I opened my eyes slowly, the lights were dim enough not to make me squint at least.  
“It's currently nine fifteen in the morning” She stepped forward slightly, keeping her distance for the most part.  
“Where am I?” I pushed myself up, the muscles in my arms straining. Everything on my body was sore.  
“You're in the hospital currently” She shifted her weight from her left foot to her right. I wanted to bring up how I wasn't hooked up to anything.  
“A hospital huh? Where's the doctor?” I scooted to the edge of the bed and placed my feet on the floor, taking in just how empty the room really was.  
“He's tending to the other patients right now, I can get him if you'd like” She swallowed slowly, her eyes taking in my figure.

I shook my head and stood up, stretching my arms out to my sides before relaxing them. The nurse hadn't moved an inch, her hands resting against her right thigh. She was carrying a gun, in case of something. If she was afraid of me, god how ridiculous was that? I wasn't going to attack someone just for shits and giggles. Then again, she was giving me more than one reason not to trust her, or where I was for that matter.

No shoes, that wouldn't get me very far if I were to try and run. I'd need to get some proper clothes before I could leave this place, find out what happened. I knew one thing for sure, I wasn't in the war anymore.

~~~ 

We had lost the war. The Nazis had taken over everything in their path, taking down anyone who thought badly of them. Almost half the population was gone in a few years, people taken from their homes as if they were prisoners. Kids ripped from their parents hands without a single care on their well being. The thought put a sour taste in my mouth. How could the world come to this? What was so powerful of theirs that they could take over?

The answer: Bucky. He was a killing machine, unstoppable to anything and anyone. It sickened me to know what he had become. At first I wanted to reject the idea that the man I called my best friend was the reason everyone was hiding in fear. But it was him, from the photos that graced my eyes in the dead of night. They had said he had been sent to kill me the moment I was pulled from the ice, but I was to be kept a secret.

They never wanted me to leave the compound unless absolutely necessary, said he could be lurking around every corner. I was beginning to feel cabin fever being locked up constantly. It didn't matter how much I worked out, or helped around the compound, it was getting to me. My nerves were frayed, ready to get out of the place I was forced to call home.

“There's soldiers incoming!” One of the recruits that roamed the halls, Sam, ran into the room panicking.  
“How many?” Tony was rubbing his face, clearly frusturated.  
“Hundreds, I couldn't get an accurate count” Sam was glancing around the room.

He was one of the only other men I was close to, everyone else looked at me like I was some sort of show pony. They were trying to get everyone out of the building and into the bunkers. The only problem was the amount of people inside, they wouldn't all fit.

“Help everyone out to the bunkers, I'm gonna try and hold them off for as long as I can” Sam wanted to object, to get me to leave with everyone else. There was no time for it though, and he soon ran over to help Tony.

I looked around the compound for anything to defend myself. Besides the metal table that was sitting by the front door there was nothing. We weren't allowed to have weapons of our owns, lest the Nazis find out and kill everyone inside. Their footsteps grew louder with each second, their guns raised high as they knelt down outside of the compound. I narrowed my eyes and shifted the table to block the bullets. The window shattered within seconds of their firing. I wasn't going to have much time to get everyone out.

They charged forward after a few moments, their boots clicking loudly against the ground. The compound was nearly silent, the only sounds coming from men outside. It was now or never. Even with the fear of being shot, I bolted from behind the table to the elevator. The doors are opened just as the first soldier steps inside, his gun raised high. Narrowly missing the first shot, I ducked down into the small space, slamming the button. The elevator shot up like a bat out of hell, reaching the floor I needed within a matter of seconds.

I ran down to the room I had been locked in for the last few weeks, grabbing a backpack from the closet. There weren't many clothes to choose from, I needed something to wear that would keep me hidden away. The black pants and shirt would be fine, but with the temperatures dropping so suddenly outside, I'd need more than just this. There was a jacket hidden farther in the back that Tony had gotten me as a gift, a promise so to speak. It would work well enough for now, at least until I could find something better.

The bag was packed and zipped, the sounds of footsteps echoing in the empty halls. They were yelling to one another in German. I needed to find a way to sneak out without being found, ensure that everyone in the bunkers wouldn't be caught. As I stepped out of the room quietly I noticed that my entire floor was empty, it wouldn't take long for them to realize where I was. Tightening the straps on the pack, I ran over to the closest elevator. The power was off, in the entire compound. Shit.

The gunshot rang through the air, piercing my right shoulder. I wanted to cry out in pain, to fall onto my knees, but I couldn't. I needed to get out of this goddamn compound before it became my demise. I kicked out the window that was closest, thank god Tony had the building on a slant for some god knows what reason. As I turned to face the soldier that had gotten at least one round off in my shoulder I felt my heart stop. Bucky.

I knew better than to try and get his attention though, he wasn't the same man from before. He was different now, changed. I held the pack tighter and slid down the glass, wincing as the bullet lodged deeper into my shoulder. This one wasn't going to be easy to get out, and that's depending if I even had the time to get it out. The soldiers hadn't made it around to the back yet, so the moment my feet hit the ground I ran. I was thankful for the serum enhancing everything, I needed to be able to get away without anyone reaching me. Now it was time to find somehwere to lay low for a little while.

February 2018

It was a lot harder to hide when you were a wanted man, I was at the top of the list of wanted people in the country. So I had to resort to some drastic measures, to ensure no one would know who I was without focusing. The beard was itchy at times, but if it kept the soldiers off my path I didn't care. I had cut my hair, and grew a beard, something that felt foreign to me. But it worked so far, I wasn't stopped by anyone, and no one seemed to recognize me. There were times that I got stopped and had to take out a few soldiers. Those weren't the happiest times. I didn't want to be known as someone who resorted to murder just to get by. But if it was I had to do to stay alive I didn't care.

There was a house nearby, a little rickety and old, but a house nonetheless. It could help keep me warm for a little while while I went through my pack to see how much food I had left. And if there's a fireplace I can use it to warm up even more. The house was filled to the brim with canned food, so whoever had originally lived here planned on becoming shut ins. Fine by me, the more food the better.

I had made a little place for myself in the living room, gathering as many of the blankets as I could. The clothes left behind fit me rather well, a little snug but I'd deal with it for now. A black jacket hung off my shoulders as I took in it's warmth. Even with the serum, the weather was too cold for me to not feel it's chill. The fire was spreading through the room, encompassing everything around me in a soft orange glow. I reached for a can of peaches, did they really still put them in cans? I pushed the the thought aside and reached for my knife to open the can. The sound of footsteps caught my attention quickly though. Whoever it was was running from someone else. There was a crunching of snow not too far off from them, they were wearing heavier boots.

There was a woman in the middle of the road, her eyes taking in the surroundings before running into the basement where I was currently hidden myself. Shit. My eyes locked on the soldier who had been following her, I wasn't going to forget him any time soon. I stood up and paced down to the basement slowly, the woman was clutching a pack tight to her chest. So she was in the same situation as me, good to know. Her mouth was open in an almost silent scream as Bucky stepped closer to where we stood inside the basement. I reached over and covered her mouth with my hand, my other arm wrapping around her waist as I pulled her flush to my chest. 

She thrashed around harshly, her heel slamming roughly into my kneecap more than I was happy with. I tightened my grip, whispering harshly in her ear. If she didn't quiet down we were going to be found, and the last thing I needed was for Bucky to find either one of us. Once the soldiers were gone I let go of her slowly, making sure she wasn't going to try any funny business.

“Who are you?” She held a knife in her right hand, her left hand completely empty. Amateur.  
“Steve, Steve Rogers” I turned and headed back up into the living room, not waiting to see if she was going to follow me.

Her footsteps echoed through the living room as we each plopped down, taking out cans of food to eat. They weren't the tastiest, but it was something to fill our stomachs before we had to move again. We had gone through almost four cans of food each before laying down on the floor.

“Did you know the man out there? The one who was following me?” Her eyes were on me, it was obvious to everyone that him and I had a history together.  
“He was my best friend, before this whole mess” I shook my head and sighed, I wasn't the same man I was when Buck and I were friends. Neither of us were the same people anymore.

She was quiet for a few moments, her eyes taking in the surroundings before landing back on me. I wanted to tell her that we were probably doomed, but it seemed too dark. How else were we supposed to survive in this world? Where everything was being run by Nazis who murdered you without a second thought? It just wasn't a thought anyone had in their head, they all assumed their fate and headed out to the gallows.

The days passed slowly, bleeding into one another before it felt as if we would both go insane from exhaustion, or hunger. Y/N would lean against me during the longer walks, her arms held tightly around my waist. We were being followed constantly, whether it was because they knew who I was, or they wanted her dead. Bucky had tried finding me, nearly killing Y/N in the process. The rubble of the building ahead of us brought on a sense of dread. Even though it was one of the headquarters, it pissed me off knowing I wasn't the one to pull the trigger.

“Holy shit, it's you” A voice caught me off guard, who was trying to talk to me?  
“Sam? Jesus man it's so good to see you” I ran over and wrapped him in a tight hug, he laughed and returned the gesture.  
“We've been looking all over for you, it's like you dropped off the face of the earth” He raised a brow at my state of dress, it's easier to blend in when you're not wearing the suit.  
“I had to for a little while, but I'm here” I smiled and laughed at a comment Tony had made about the beard.

I pulled Y/N over and introduced her to everyone, she was a little skeptical of all the people suddenly surrounding us. Considering almost everyone had a gun in their hand, I didn't blame her too much. Sam gave me the run down of how things had been since the incident. They had been able to hide away in the bunkers until the soldiers deemed it unimportant. So they set out their best soldiers to hunt down any Nazis. They had taken out the smaller headquarters, and finally took out the main one. They were able to get a hold of other soldiers, determining whether or not we were going to be able to win the war finally.

They needed my help though, to ensure that we would finally win. And that meant having to leave Y/N behind while I went to fight a battle we could possibly lose.

“Steve! That's suicide!” Her eyes welled up with tears, her hands clutching my jacket as if her life depended on it.  
“I have to help them, we can't continue living in fear anymore” I grabbed her wrists harshly, pulling them off of my coat.  
“So you have to get yourself killed? Is that what you want?” Her voice was cracking, and it was breaking my heart.

I shook my head and left the room, her sobs echoing down the hall. They reminded me so much of what I had once lost, and I was about to lose everything all over again. It wasn't something that was easily forgotten.

June 2018

Everything had been taken care of, there were officially no more headquarters, no more reigning officers that were calling the shots. People weren't living in fear of dying the moment they stepped out of their homes. The world was finally at peace. Which was why I was still behind with Bucky. He wasn't able to be in the public, not for a little while at least. Tony didn't want him anywhere near Y/N, and I didn't blame him. Bucky was a loose cannon, ready to snap at a moments notice. Whatever they had done to him, it was going to have a lasting effect, and I wasn't going to let that happen.

“You need to let go Steve, I need to be locked up, away from all these people” Bucky's eyes were cast down, his shoulders slumping forwards.  
“I'm not gonna let that happen, it's just gonna take some work” I sighed and rested my hand on his shoulder, squeezing ever so gently.

He didn't say much after that, choosing to stay quiet as we made our way back to the compound. I just wanted a hot meal and a bed to sleep in for the night. War wasn't something I had ever been fond of, and this was an entirely new level. 

Sam was waiting for us outside the doors, taking the guns down to the armory.

“Just so you know, Y/N's been a little hostile towards everyone. She thinks the worst happened” My heart dropped deep in my chest. I couldn't remember the last time we had seen one another.  
“I'll go see her after I shower” I looked over at Bucky who was trying to nonchalantly listen to the conversation.  
“I know you're probably feeling real gross, but I don't think she can wait that long” Sam turned to face us, his arms crossed over his chest.

I nodded slowly and headed over to the elevator, Bucky wasn't far behind me. Neither of us were talking, choosing to stay silent as we waited for the doors to open once again. Her whimpers were echoing inside the hall, it took all of my willpower not to run down and slam the door open. Bucky walked over to the door, his hand on the handle. He didn't turn it though, choosing instead to back away and let me step inside. I was going to make things right this time.

Bucky's P.O.V

It hurt watching them, seeing how happy they were together, how she smiled so brightly when his arms were around her. As if neither had a care in the world. It sickened me to my core, but I wanted that for myself. She looked at me with disgust for a while, her eyes landing on my left arm with disdain. I wasn't proud of it either, but knowing that I was scaring Steve's girl, well it hurt a lot more. So I started to pull away from him. We had finally been reunited after so long, only to have someone else come between us.

Steve didn't notice it at first, he was too lovestruck. Of course she made sure he was constantly preoccupied with something. Whether it was working out in the gym, or catching up on anything we had missed in the last seventy years. Wherever he went, she did too. But then Steve started noticing how distant we had become. He wanted to include me in things, to have his best friend back. I would always just shake my head and walk away, it wasn't that easy. 

And things were fine, he stopped asking me to hang around him and Y/N and it was great. Until the nightmares became to be too much. When I would wake up screaming and panting, my chest covered in a sheen of sweat. They were taking a toll on everything I did. I could barely shower without almost passing out from exhaustion. And of course Steve noticed that. How I had fallen asleep at dinner on more than one occasion. Or how I wasn't blocking anyone's strikes during workouts. I was a walking shell of a man, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Steve wanted Tony to do all sorts of tests to figure out what was wrong, why I wasn't able to function anymore. If he only knew the horrors I saw when I slept at night, maybe then he'd finally understand my pain.

Steve's P.O.V

“Buck, you gotta talk to me sometime” I watched the man in front of me struggle to eat the plate of eggs he made himself, his hand tightened around the fork.  
“I'm just having nightmares is all, no big deal” He yawned loudly and took another forkful of eggs, chewing slowly.  
“Nightmares? Why didn't you say anything?” I frowned, sipping at the coffee in my hand.

He laughed, long and loud. Clutching at his stomach, tears filling his eyes. I wasn't sure what in the world was so funny. He sat back up and wiped at his cheeks, his eyes landing on me.

“You're so fucking oblivious Rogers” His smile was gone suddenly, replaced with an angry sneer.  
“What're you talking about?” I was confused, moreso than usual.  
“You haven't noticed how distant I've been have you? You've been too wrapped up in your girlfriend to notice anything, figures” His eyes are showing me everything I was too blind to see.

He wasn't sleeping because I was too busy being a shitty friend. I was losing the best friend I had already lost once. And for what? For a woman who didn't know my struggles? No, don't think of her like that, she's the only reason I'm sane right now. Bucky needed someone though, he was hurting more than I was, and I needed to be there for him.

“I'm sorry, if I hadn't been so caught up in my own life I'd of stepped in. God, Buck you look like absolute shit right now” I took in his appearance.

If it weren't for the serum I was sure he would've been skin and bones, the circles under his eyes were prominent, overtaking most of his features. His hand was shaking as he held onto the fork, struggling to bring another forkful of eggs to his mouth.

“I just wanted to make sure you were happy, even if it meant cutting off our friendship” Bucky's eyes were soft, his lips pulled into a haphazard smile.  
“We're not cutting off our friendship Buck, I'm not going to lose you again” I reached over and placed my hand on his arm.  
“She doesn't want you around me Steve, it's pretty clear” Bucky rolled his eyes, pulling his arm from my grip.

He stood up and left the kitchen without another word, his words still ringing through my head. And I could only feel like this was all my fault, I should've paid closer attention. Y/N walked into the kitchen, her face was too calm, a mask of sorts. Either she ran into Bucky on the way down, or she heard the conversation.

“Why don't you want me hanging around Bucky?” I looked between the plate and where she stood. Her eyes widened in shock.  
“I'm scared of him Steve, he tried to kill us back before all of this happened. Don't blame me for being on my guard” My jaw clenched tight at her words, I understood why she would be cautious at first, but it had been months!  
“He's tearing himself apart because of us, I can't let him do that. You have to understand that he's my best friend, I went to war with that man, and I'll gladly do it again” I stood up from the table, walking over to her swiftly.

Her breathing was erratic as she watched me, her hands pressing gently against my chest. 

“Do I make myself clear?” My voice was low, gravelly as I watched Y/N's expression darken.  
“Yes sir” She whispered softly, her hands sliding up to my shoulders slowly.  
“I'm going to talk to him, why don't you go and get some fresh air for a little while?” I stepped away from her before heading down to Bucky's room.

The door was shut but not locked. I knew as much as he was hurting that barging in wasn't the best idea. I knocked twice before stepping inside, he was sitting on the bed, elbows resting on his knees with his head in his hands. He didn't bother to move when I stepped farther into the room, staying completely still.

“She isn't going to be friendly with you at first, or with the fact that you and I are close, but she's going to have to deal with it. You were the only person I had before I became this person Buck, and I know it's the same for you too. So you need to understand that I am here for you no matter what, but you can't hide yourself away like this. I need to actually hear you talk to me when things aren't going that well” I gulped in a deep breath of air, my lungs filling with the crispness.  
“I will, I promise” Bucky looked over slowly, a small smile on his face.

It wasn't going to be easy for any of us, but that's not how relationships, or friendships were. Nothing about them was going to be easy. But if I could handle two wars, I could handle anything the two of them threw my way.


End file.
